You say .."I think everybody can resonate with the pain of losing your kid" That is not true. Until you have lost a CHILD no matter their age you have no clue the kind of pain involved and it's duration.
You say there is nothing you can do. Calling Ray and just talking is not invading privacy and if they are both on your mind then stay in touch.

After loosing a child many friends do not call because they do not know what to say or some friends disconnect altogether.

The sentence "Ray, you lost your SON. I think you can cry a few tears. You sure aren't bothering me by feeling the pain of losing your kid." maybe speaks volumes as to why you think there's nothing you can do.

I am truly sorry for your friends loss. It is horrible to lose a child to death. It changes your life forever from the moment their heart stops beating and you continue to live.

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