A feeling of definite foreboding? But why? What prompted it? I could see this look on your face, and I started remembering what you said that night, about things being "convenient" for me. And I've been kicking myself ever since for not just taking our gift of time yesterday and using it to talk. I am sorry if it seemed I was only interested in physical contact. That was not the case. I would hope you'd have more faith in me. If I have to prove myself by refraining from physical contact when we meet, fine. Say the word. And last night...no, I didn't get to take a nap, unfortunately, although I planned to. And as much as I wanted to chat with you, my body was aching to go to sleep. I went straight to bed after logging off and don't even remember my head hitting the pillow. This was a hard, shitty week, and you're right, this tops it off. I'm not sure what I did that was bad enough to shake your belief in us, and I can't even talk to you to find out. I don't think I will go out of town tonite, if you're going to be on-line to talk to. This is more important. Please post me and let me know if you'll be around, as soon as you can. If you're going out, then I'll probably make the trip. And if you think my Valentine's Day is going to be any better than yours, then you really don't know how I feel at all, do you? I love you, and I hope we can talk this out tonite. :( You are the centre of my world.

Well, it's been a whole day and no response from you yet... Guess you never checked in. I wish I knew your plans for the evening so I could think about mine. Thought a lot today about us. I really am at a loss sometimes as to what more I can do to reassure you. I try to express often the things I think will help -- my strong, deep love for you, my efforts aimed at spending my life with you -- but they don't seem to work. One day we're agreeing that things are good and solid between us, and the next you are acting cool towards me and telling me you've had a sense of foreboding. I just don't understand what I should be doing. I miss you and want to talk with you so much. I'm staying put tonight, and I'll be on-line looking for you. I realize you probably can't make it until 10. I also realize that I might not get a chance to talk with you at all if you're going out. But that's a chance I'll gladly take. Just please, if you get this anytime soon, let me know your plans? Please? I love you. Believe what you will, but I love you.