laughinggggg yeah a very very long time ago....

I pull up beside you driving the golf cart, gardening tools in the back; you wearing your "R" rated avatar, cheesecake for the male audience.

YOu get in the cart, and we ease forward, and cleome comes into view, six feet all, and Anastasia Lily, smelling fragant,

I lay my hand on your thigh and say

Years ago, some friends of mine who had big dump trucks and cleared land, well, I told them if they ever run across some real good dirt, then yeah, I want a BIG dumptruck load.

if an opportunity presents itself, missy jo... say yes and go. Seeing Europe changed my world view.

Bathroom
He grinned when you wrapped your arms around him, and his own arms came around your delicate waist. He looked into those blues as you looked up to him

"I do not think you will be either."

He likes to see this teasing, mischievous side of you.

He felt the warmth of your lips at his cheek

"Oh I bet you will darlin."

He placed a kiss to your forehead just before your head found his chest

"Well you have seen the barn and the back porch so that leaves just a couple more rooms to show you."

He bent slightly to lift you up and cradle you in his arms

"Alright then on to the next room."

Ever been on an acid trip?

Ah now germany very good beer and brats

good for you

good for you

envious of your courage

one can't pass up those kind of trips.....

*smiles*. Yeah, the closest one was one town away. The plant has been on alert twice now because of the closeness of them, but no danger.

*Laughs*. I told my boss I could do a teaching and learning about how to fashion a raincoat from a large garbage bag the one day, it was raining so hard. He laughed and said he might take me up on it.

how does it go??? where there is a will, there's a way?

Just happened that a dear friend was living in Germany and I got a great deal on airfare over there. I took the chance.

Hmmm kinda late couch but good idea

she wanted to see Moscow too

Mr Gorbachev tear down this wall

call for delivery

I have never been close to your butt

Daaamn, Okay, I'm ready, I've got a golf cart, and beds all over the place, views of the mountains, and now, remember, we are making a documentary and we want to be able to market this!

Couch wheres that sub im hungry

honestly, I preferred East Berlin to Paris... LOL. But that was just the timing of my travel.

I can see vaash now. Wearing a beret and walking a poodle under the Eiffel tower

(Long mental rambling just a heads up LOL)

I'm sorry I haven't been around more, r/t has been rough, between current p/t appointments / doc appts/ taking care of my mom and helping her and the senior center things have been chaotic. My Fibromyalgia has been more rough lately but that could be stress and depression. f

My mom and I don't have any friends, no one asks us out to lunch, or to go to a movie, or hell even come over and play cards. Soooo feeling isolated and alone as well as lonely has be a lot. We are both depressed and she's had a rough couple of days with more confusion and she's been snappy because she realizes she's forgetting. It's not super bad at the moment it's just noticeable so that sets my head on spin.

We would love to travel or go somewhere but with all the nightmare stories I've heard about travel we both have not been that motivated. Just kinda feels like a hopeless cycle with no expectant change in the near future. I need to get back into r/p because I could use the distraction but by he time I have time I feel exhausted and depressed makes for bad r/p usually.

p/t has told me that they are fairly certain that I'll need a fusion in the future so then I worry well who will help me out, how will we get things done etc etc (you know that spin your head goes in when you have anxiety with a touch of ocd)

I just have this overwhelming feeling of chaotic around me and I don't know how to fix it. I know I should meditate but I can't get my body to relax enough to have it work. I swear my body doesn't know how to relax I have to consciously tell myself to relax and then as soon as I'm not actively thinking about it my muscles tighten back up again.

The issues in my back are effecting my feet and walking, so that's not helping, I feel ugly, fat, unloved, unwanted, and feel in nooo way pretty in any way. I've tried to use make up and it looks bad so that just makes me feel more pathetic. I can't cry because ...well it won't fix anything and it will just make my head stuffy and I'll feel more miserable than I already do. I find myself wishing for multiple personalities just so I could cope with things better. Hell I think my cat might even be depressed who knows.

I would love some animal therapy but can't have that when you live in a tiny town with nothing. I mean really we have 1 gas station, 2 dollar generals, no traffic lights or stops signs but we have 3 bars?. Welcome to small town areas.

I'm sorry to have rambled on incoherently for so long I just trying to get some of my thoughts and feelings out of my head and felt the need to vent... have a pity party... and whine. So if you have made it to this point in my writing I thank you for your time, patience and listening.

*leaving lots of hugs / love/ and understanding for anyone out there who needs them*