I’m sorry that all I could leave were whispers yesterday. RT was being a relentless bitch ~s~

Sending best wishes.

For sure cory{BI}
Prayers for success and healing lifted

Prayers and healing thoughts for your friend. I've had a heart ablation several years ago. Truly, he'll be fine, but he needs to make sure he rests up afterwards and takes things easy for a while.

WHAT DOES SHAME LOOK LIKE?

In order to deal with shame, some of us move away by withdrawing, hiding, silencing ourselves, and keeping secrets. Some of us move toward by seeking to appease and please. And some of us move against by trying to gain power over others, by being aggressive, and by using shame to fight shame (like sending really mean emails).

Shame is about fear, blame, and disconnection.

If we want to live fully, without the constant fear of not being enough, we have to own our story. We also have to respond to shame in a way that doesn’t exacerbate our shame. One way to do that is to recognize when we’re in shame so we can react with intention.

The easiest way to know shame is to cultivate an awareness of our physical shame symptoms -- a warm wash of inadequacy comes over me, my heart races, my face feels hot, my mouth gets dry, my armpits tingle, and time slows down. It’s important to know our personal symptoms so we can get deliberate in our response to shame.

When we’re in shame, we’re not fit for human consumption. We need to get back on our emotional feet before we do, say, email, or text something that we’ll regret.

If you want to kick-start your shame resilience and story-claiming, start with these questions. Figuring out the answers can change your life:

1. Who do you become when you’re backed into that shame corner?
2. How do you protect yourself?
3. Who do you call to work through the mean-nasties or the cry ’n’ hides or the people-pleasing?
4. What’s the most courageous thing you could do for yourself when you feel small and hurt?

Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: “Who has earned the right to hear my story?” If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or a small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabilities, and power, and fills us with a sense of belonging, we are incredibly lucky.

wine

All of these photos are spectacular!!
WOW

A new day dawned on the Plains and it promised to be bright and cloudless once again.

She wondered what this new day might bring ....

champers

psst ..

i beam over *You* all the time.

But You still can make me turn on a dime, You know that, right?

*You*

*Us*

*crAZy nUtZ*

I'm a bit late to the party here, but I hope she is doing okay. I worked in ophthalmology for about 100 years and cataract surgery has come a long, long way with much less complications.

She should be seeing fine by now! Sending good wishes for her, and for You.

SHAME RESILIENCE 101

Here are the first three things that you need to know about shame:

1. We all have it. Shame is universal and one of the most primitive human emotions that we experience. The only people who don’t experience shame lack the capacity for empathy and human connection.

2. We’re all afraid to talk about shame.

3. The less we talk about shame, the more control it has over our lives.
Shame is basically the fear of being unlovable—it’s the total opposite of owning our story and feeling worthy.

Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love, belonging, and connection.

We’re afraid that people won’t like us if they know the truth about who we are, where we come from, what we believe, how much we’re struggling, or, believe it or not, how wonderful we are when soaring (sometimes it’s just as hard to own our strengths as our struggles).

In addition to the fear of disappointing people or pushing them away with our stories, we’re also afraid that if we tell our stories, the weight of a single experience will collapse upon us. There is a real fear that we can be buried or defined by an experience that, in reality, is only a sliver of who we are.

If shame is the universal fear of being unworthy of love and belonging, and if all people have an irreducible and innate need to experience love and belonging, it’s easy to see why shame is often referred to as “the master emotion.” We don’t have to experience shame to be paralyzed by it—the fear of being perceived as unworthy is enough to force us to silence our stories.

Shame resilience is the ability to recognize shame, to move through it constructively while maintaining worthiness and authenticity, and to ultimately develop more courage, compassion, and connection as a result of our experience. The first thing we need to understand about shame resilience is that the less we talk about shame, the more we have it.

Shame needs three things to grow out of control in our lives: secrecy, silence, and judgment. When something shaming happens and we keep it locked up, it festers and grows. It consumes us. We need to share our experience. Shame happens between people, and it heals between people. If we can find someone who has earned the right to hear our story, we need to tell it. Shame loses power when it is spoken. In this way, we need to cultivate our story to let go of shame, and we need to develop shame resilience in order to cultivate our story.

People with high levels of shame resilience share these four elements:

1. They understand shame and recognize what messages and expectations trigger shame for them.

2. They practice critical awareness by reality-checking the messages and expectations that tell us that being imperfect means being inadequate.

3. They reach out and share their stories with people they trust.

4. They speak shame—they use the word shame, they talk about how they’re feeling, and they ask for what they need.

What’s the difference between shame and guilt?

Guilt = I did something bad.
Shame = I am bad.

Shame is about who we are, and guilt is about our behaviors. We feel guilty when we hold up something we’ve done or failed to do against the kind of person we want to be. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, but one that’s helpful. When we apologize for something we’ve done, make amends to others, or change a behavior that we don’t feel good about, guilt is most often the motivator. Guilt is just as powerful as shame, but its effect is often positive while shame often is destructive. When we see people apologize, make amends, or replace negative behaviors with more positive ones, guilt is often the motivator, not shame.

When we experience shame, we feel disconnected and desperate for worthiness. Full of shame or the fear of shame, we are more likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors and to attack or shame others.

You can be in the middle of a shame experience without even knowing what’s happening and why.

The four elements of shame resilience: Name it. Talk about it. Own your story. Tell the story.

We also have to learn how we protect ourselves from shame if we want to develop worthiness.

sweat burning its eyes.
stumbling along always praying one of the other pigs it is attached to doesnt fall

The Vosk River
Eventually I sang myself to sleep . Curling up on my side under a tent made of a blanket between seats. L/p

I haven't read the responses but if you are using a tomato based anything, put a little sugar in it to cut the acidity. It works.

Without hesitation, absolutely

the line of pigs stumbling along behind the golf cart
all constantly oinking at the amusement of the handlers riding in the cart
oinkkkk
oinkkkkkkkkk
oinkkkkk

if a pig stops oinking they use the prod on her