Top Ten Ways You Know You Might Be Too Old For BDSM:

10. Sensory deprivation is when your Dom hides your hearing aid batteries.
9. Your nipple clamps have training wheels.
8. Edge play is standing by the microwave with a pacemaker.
7. When you tell your sub to get the cane, you have to specify "walking" or "beating".
6. You can't tell the difference between your tatoos and your age spots.
5. You shout "One, two, three, CLEAR!" for electrical play.
4. Your idea of breath play is when your wheelchair runs over your oxygen hose.
3. Your idea of suspension is an UltraLift™ bra.
2. You hold the paddle and say, "You're younger than me....back into the paddle....HARD!"

And the Number One way to tell you might be too old for BDSM:

1. Age play really is 24/7.