Looks in...

chicken

Thank you all..heading to hospital now..
surgery is at 9..

And see my struggle
And im just forming this

I used the "I'll show everyone "
Mentality to make myself successful

But I have nothing left to prove
There ....

That is no longer a motivator

So then what is ?

Good day all

My mother didn't
Think we were worth
Saving from my father ..

She didn't want to be a single
Woman
Didn't believe in divorce

We just weren't important enough
And im pretty sure ...
She learned it was ok from her father

When your parents don't
Love you ...

There , there is the hole
The bottomless pit that
Swallows everything...

That voice that says I'm no good

out

Couch1 has started a new game with the following players:
Couch1

" S T A R T G A M E : t r u e "{ " g a m e I d " : " 1 7 1 4 9 9 4 8 7 0 " , " p l a y e r L i s t " : [ " c o u c h 1 " ] , " r o l l N u m b e r " : 0 , " c u r r e n t P l a y e r " : 0 , " d i c e " : { " f a c e s " : [ 0 , 0 , 0 , 0 , 0 ] , " r e r o l l " : [ t r u e , t r u e , t r u e , t r u e , t r u e ] } , " s c o r e 0 " : { " 1 " : n u l l , " 2 " : n u l l , " 3 " : n u l l , " 4 " : n u l l , " 5 " : n u l l , " 6 " : n u l l , " p l a y e r " : n u l l , " u p _ t o t a l " : n u l l , " b o n u s " : n u l l , " 3 k " : n u l l , " 4 k " : n u l l , " s s " : n u l l , " l s " : n u l l , " f h " : n u l l , " y a h _ t o k e n " : n u l l , " y " : n u l l , " c " : n u l l , " y a h _ b o n u s " : 0 , " b o t _ t o t a l " : n u l l , " g _ t o t a l " : n u l l } , " o w n e r " : " c o u c h 1 " , " s t a t u s " : " r e a d y " , " r o u n d " : 0 , " l a s t P o s t " : 1 7 1 4 9 9 4 8 7 0 }

*wandering through*

xx

I have to stop thinking
I'm unlovable
To stop being ....
Needy maybe?

Thst might not be the
Word....
But that feeling of
I guess ...
I'm so lucky ....
But it being one sided
Like I'm lucky to have found them
But ohhhhhh, they are
Cursed to have found me

See that voice that Tells you
You are no good
Tells you that your partner
Thinks your no good
Which when you think
About it
If they thought all these
Negative things about you
Why are they with you?

When you logically
Break it down
It makes no sense

So I need to question
This voice and why the voice
Inside of me
Is my enemy and not my friend?

How did I alienate me, from me ?

My mother hated herself
Her life
And she taught her children well

That he is, styling and profiling as my mother would say.

peeks in while away…sure miss the cages and certainly miss Goddess

I have to take away
The power of my own personal
Bully .....

The voice that would rather
See me a victim of my demons
A victim of the events that
Unfolded , that I was forced
To endure

The voice that continously
Tells me. I'm not good enough

That mentally damages
Friendships
Relationships
Effects your thought process
Tells you lies ...

Makes you believe
You do not deserve
The wonderful people
And things you do have
Robs you of enjoying
Them .....

Robs you of life ....

The only person
Out to get me
Is me

The only person
That can take me down
Is me
The only person who
Can hold me down
Is me ....

Just in case i haven't missed you, Hello reetha :)