Lower Floors
"Not gonna lie, Doug — I'm a little scared of finding out the truth. As it is right now, under this, like… f-false stability, at least I seem to be left to myself, so long as I do my part and not meddle…"

Not her proudest idea, that she can just try and avoid rocking her own boat.
Her fingers soothed back and forth over your knuckles without realizing it, a nervous fidget that corresponded to the confused smile-not-smile and overthinking bounce of her leg as she was seated there, behind the obscuring wall of all the well-meaning horror-camouflage of your subterranean den.

"The Life seems to drive each of us to certain lengths, man, and it's become so hard to trust myself on… uh… I don't know…" IRIDIA stammered. Mostly, she feared she could turn out to be just like Maul, or whatever her internal impression of him was. Give up on humanity, act on reflexes, justify anything…

But that anchoring reassurance helped bring her back to Earth, from the objective/subjective affirmation you offered to the prayer — there were parts of Night City that still knew sentiment, maybe? SereniTEA, little sacred corners and idealogues. Unless the words were truly esoteric, maybe her systems might have made some flailing attempt to render translation, but it's likely she could make sense of it anyway.

"I appreciate that — it means an immense amount to hear someone else say I did what I could. It's… I'm just used to handling problems with definite, mathematical or logical answers, you know what I mean? We're Netters, like… how you feel about things doesn't matter in the informational ether, and then to have that suddenly be a matter of life or death, steer these consequences…" She offered our hands another squeeze, lifting slightly so that she could shuffle over and embrace you, though she wasn't sure if your ribs were still tender from the abuse so she wasn't squeezing too hard.

"Alright, let's start hacking together the metadata for Jackson's problem, building the libraries we're going to use for when we go after that MaxTac data crypt…"

(l/p)

Stopping by briefly before bedtime. Finding the place quiet once again. It seems to be quiet a lot lately.

Shedding her clothes in a neat pile by the door, as is customary, before sinking to all fours. Petite body pressing close to the cold floor as she slithers to the middle of the Room. Brushing away dirty blonde hair as she kneels up and looks around.

Tower 11 Exterior
Massive amounts of guilt, all kinds of shit slamming against pretty much all of your friends except for maybe Eir... and that's just because Eir would have introduced Paz to new and exciting kinds of pain within five minutes of meeting her. Eir had some *very* good reasons to dislike Corpos of Paz's variety.

"I flatter you because you're worth it. Because I'd barely known you from before and STILL can't say I know you worth a damn. But what I know, I am willing to go to war for without a second thought and damn the consequences. I see someone who was able to see a man in an absolutely indescribable position and give what comfort she could. His armor was off something called the ADONIS program, and I've pinged a few bits and pieces researching Damocles. It was first gen tech, and it required some *stupidly* invasive neural links to function like it did. If he acted like an emotionless killing machine, then I'm absolutely not surprised. Conditioning, neural damage... Shiiit, it's a wonder he was able to conceive of an infatuation let alone act on it."

A few moments of silence before he closes his eyes and murmurs something in a language that sounds Oriental, but not Mandarin. You're familiar enough with those languages to guess it's probably Tibetan. And judging from the reverent town, it's some sort of prayer. A bit of an oxymoron, considering the spiritual wasteland that Night City currently is. But a prayer nonetheless. For the soul of a man who was crushed under on this turn of the wheel, but still had the capacity to love.

"You did what you could, and that's all anyone can ask. As far as the rest of it goes... Perry's good folks, with great taste in pizza. He's absolutely got the chops to deal with this. I'm no slouch when it comes to programming chrome, but I'm the interface guy and do not have his practice or access on cracking things that are locked down. Would you mind if I talked with him about this? I may have a few angles that he's not thinking of to approach stuff. Either way, I've got your back and the only way you're getting rid of me is to convince me that YOU want me gone, Jellyfish. Not the Doll Chip version of IRIDIA. You. Because if you're willing to help me kick the gate shut on my demons and wreck their shit in the process then I can't do any less to support you!"

Song: Sleepy Sea of Indigo and Blue
by Antje Duvekot

WooHoo!
Happy Mayday!

Lights a cigarette

:)

How fun!

Lower Floors
Avoidant, insecure.
She couldn't really make, let alone maintain eye contact, and to actually take in your reaction was like pushing the wrong sides of two magnets together, even if the response pulled a smile from her.

"You flatter me, but I uh…"

That smile didn't linger, wavering over what might be best described as mental glitches like she didn't know if she wanted to just revolt against herself or not.
It was bittersweet, anyway, to feel valued in spite of the fact that she felt she was an irrecoverable mess, but she burned red across her cheeks anyway.

"…well I don't know if it's of the same make. It seems different, fundamentally. I wake up some days with repairs, new parts under blackout labels and this sense in the back of my head that it's in my best interest not to investigate myself too deeply. I got Peregrine to give it a peek — you know pirateware is his specialty…" She indulged herself a little bit of that problem-solver's distraction.

"Yeah, he was more-or-less owned by her. Echo and I watched her put him into this massive black torture-box with all the necessary tools to sustain him. That armor of his is straight-up medieval, from a war decades ago."

Your assessment of Paz sounded bang-on, like she was a clinical psychopath divorced of the basic empathy that she or you may take for granted, such that his feelings were an obstruction, some flaw or illness that impacted his efficiency.

The rest of that opinion, however, caused her to shake her head. Not in denial or negation of your impression, necessarily, but more a healthy dose of uncertainty.

"No I have no idea — he… was not normal. Killed with impunity. I don't know what made him tick, like I can only imagine his sense of injustice, the places he put his mind in order to do what he needed to do, to march to her beat and justify things, but…" She felt sympathy… and fear.

"I just feel guilty. I barley knew him outside of the impossible position he was put in."

Could it be that complicated? Maul was, by all objective measures, burdened with an unthinkable sum of sin for all that he did in the name of… maybe it was noble, but she only knew a small fraction of his crimes and the blood he was drenched in made it hard to correlate against this idea you put forth, that he must have meant quite a bit to her.

But rather than continue to shovel words, meaningless words out into the conversation she just blinked through a slight dampness behind her eyes. Helpless. Shrugging, eager to get the truth out and be transparent and honest with you. "…but that's… that's that. For all of the bullshit in my head and locked away for what I'm assuming is my own safety… the least I can do is give you whatever truth I do have access to. I mean fuck, choom… your own demons are knocking right on your gate, too."

Pads in

Have a wonderful time!

#r-walkres@bwr --KittyBlack@bwr, MarshalColtonMcCallister@bwr & Lucas Greer Reed^@bwr

I love this tradition you have with your friend.
So very nice. Hope you and BI had a great May Day.

gone

lip

fnord

e@vie has started a new game with the following players:
e@vie

" S T A R T G A M E : t r u e "{ " g a m e I d " : " 1 7 1 4 6 3 2 8 6 2 " , " p l a y e r L i s t " : [ " e @ v i e " ] , " r o l l N u m b e r " : 0 , " c u r r e n t P l a y e r " : 0 , " d i c e " : { " f a c e s " : [ 0 , 0 , 0 , 0 , 0 ] , " r e r o l l " : [ t r u e , t r u e , t r u e , t r u e , t r u e ] } , " s c o r e 0 " : { " 1 " : n u l l , " 2 " : n u l l , " 3 " : n u l l , " 4 " : n u l l , " 5 " : n u l l , " 6 " : n u l l , " p l a y e r " : n u l l , " u p _ t o t a l " : n u l l , " b o n u s " : n u l l , " 3 k " : n u l l , " 4 k " : n u l l , " s s " : n u l l , " l s " : n u l l , " f h " : n u l l , " y a h _ t o k e n " : n u l l , " y " : n u l l , " c " : n u l l , " y a h _ b o n u s " : 0 , " b o t _ t o t a l " : n u l l , " g _ t o t a l " : n u l l } , " o w n e r " : " e @ v i e " , " s t a t u s " : " r e a d y " , " r o u n d " : 0 , " l a s t P o s t " : 1 7 1 4 6 3 2 8 6 2 }

e@vie has started a new game with the following players:
e@vie

" S T A R T G A M E : t r u e "{ " g a m e I d " : " 1 7 1 4 6 3 2 6 7 2 " , " p l a y e r L i s t " : [ " e @ v i e " ] , " r o l l N u m b e r " : 0 , " c u r r e n t P l a y e r " : 0 , " d i c e " : { " f a c e s " : [ 0 , 0 , 0 , 0 , 0 ] , " r e r o l l " : [ t r u e , t r u e , t r u e , t r u e , t r u e ] } , " s c o r e 0 " : { " 1 " : n u l l , " 2 " : n u l l , " 3 " : n u l l , " 4 " : n u l l , " 5 " : n u l l , " 6 " : n u l l , " p l a y e r " : n u l l , " u p _ t o t a l " : n u l l , " b o n u s " : n u l l , " 3 k " : n u l l , " 4 k " : n u l l , " s s " : n u l l , " l s " : n u l l , " f h " : n u l l , " y a h _ t o k e n " : n u l l , " y " : n u l l , " c " : n u l l , " y a h _ b o n u s " : 0 , " b o t _ t o t a l " : n u l l , " g _ t o t a l " : n u l l } , " o w n e r " : " e @ v i e " , " s t a t u s " : " r e a d y " , " r o u n d " : 0 , " l a s t P o s t " : 1 7 1 4 6 3 2 6 7 2 }

in

Tower 11 Exterior
Nobu cocks his head at that, because this was something absolutely deep and clearly Important with a capital I. So he just holds your hand and *listens*. Eyes up, fully in the moment, active listening. You lay it out who Maul actually was, and Nobu's reordering things in his head to try and reconcile what you're telling him with the Statue that Bled. Considering he doesn't really know anything, this isn't hard!

You get to who Maul was, and he's nodding. Okay, an idealist. This is something that he can work with. You mention that the two of you had worked together much more than he knew and that an emotional connection was involved and Nobu's just nodding understandingly at that and taking it at face value.

"I can see why. You've certainly made an impression on me, so I'm not surprised that he had those feelings too. I mean, I wouldn't exactly say head over heels but I could get there real quick if you encourage it."

But then you're laying out that YOU have a doll chip and you see his eyes narrow thoughtfully and several pieces of information slot together in his brain. He's nodding along at that before giving your hand another reassuring squeeze with a warm smile.

Whatever you were expecting... Well, that's probably not going to happen! Nobu's calm and collected as you lay out that you'd apparently gone ahead and slept with Joaquim before he made mad crazy comments about going on the warpath before he died. And when you trail off about not knowing what you were supposed to do, he nods understandingly and gives you a bleak little smile.

"Well. That's a shit situation and no mistake, but you mentioning that Doll chip does make a few things clearer. I'm assuming that Maul worked for Paz? Like she was the boss, or was it something more? Because I could just see her ordering you to "take care of it" like you CAN just "take care" of feelings. I mean, shiiiiiit I've dealt with my own damn share of crushes and then some. Mine and other people's. All you can do is just like talk it out and see where it goes. Considering how tangled up you are about this, he must have meant quite a bit to you too. He was lucky to have known you."