--first didnt know if we are fully over on the new sagas board yet so posting this here-

OK, I've been debating whether to post anything about this or not, but I I, you know you, my family and I don't really speak a lot about what's going on with me health wise. I just let you know I have health problems. I leave it at that pretty much. But I've been dealing with something for about the last month and. Maybe maybe more like 2 months. And it's really scary to be honest. So I'm gonna share this with you because yesterday I had a major a total decompression meltdown because I had I got more red news and poor my girl. God bless him. You know, good thing he has big shoulders anyway, so please bear with me here while I explain this.

OK, so everybody um. You know, metabolizes medicine and chemicals at different rates in in, in everything. It really depends on your health and and whatnot. Well, I'm on a lot of medicines like we're talking like 10 different prescriptions. And for the last about six months, anytime they did a drug panel on me, it came up really weird like. There was alcohol in my system and they even had like methamphetamine and that kind of thing. But they chalked that up because I am ADHD and I do take either Adderall or this other medicine that they put me on, which is a method, a method. It's a method, something. Anyway, well, the numbers never really changed. And that that tells them it’s a system issue with the way my body is or isn’t properly metabolizes the medicine as one or if its even several causing these results. The important thing is they explained to me yesterday, and it's really kind of scary. Apparently my body is not metabolizing the medicines that they have given me in a proper frame and they don't know if it's affecting my heart that I had surgery on a couple years ago.

Anyway, it's just a really frustrating battle because I do anything and everything The doctors say I jump through their hoops, I take what they want me to take. I do this, I do that. And you know, I don't. I I don't like not take meds or I don't like, you know, take side meds, things like that. I'm a very good patient actually. And so it's really scary because here I am doing everything they tell me and I'm feeling kind of like, um, I I told you, I told my Jarl last night. I said, you know, it's a really good thing I didn't have a gun in the house. I had really reached the end of my rope. Because it's happening all over again. So they've actually taken me off my ADHD medicine, which by the way, bouncing off the walls does not even describe it. But the thing that scares me is they don't know what's causing it. They don't know if it's my ADHD medicine. They don't know if it has to do with allergies. They don't know if it has to do with my heart meds and what it's doing to my heart. My kidneys apparently are under strain because of all this. They are functioning. I don't have to take extra precautions on that. They're just. Watching that right now.

. So anyway, um, I I'm sorry if I I do tend to go quiet or disappear for a few days. I'm really just trying to kind of marinate and digest all this information that I've been given that is really, to be honest, it's quite frightening because when the doctor tells you ohh. We don't know what's causing this, and it could be affecting your heart. Gee, thanks for that. Could you at least have the answers before you tell me these things? But um, you know, I'm calmer today. I actually did a long hot bubble soak in the tub with music and candles, da whole shebang., you know, meditation thing. And I am feeling a lot more, you know, on my feet at this point. But I am frustrated and I'm scared and. You know it. It's not, you know, so it's like, well how are you doing Healthwise? Ohh, fabulous. Because you can't explain it. People don't understand it. And I'm terrified right now to be honest. I'm calm. But I'm a little terrified. I mean, I don't know what's what it's doing to my system. So I actually told my doctor that I want to be taken off everything unless it's essential, like my insulin. And any medicines that we go on from there, we do one at a time, see the effect. And I would prefer to be homeopathic or natural. Right now, the only thing I take for pain because I cold turkey went and de-toed from my morphine and oxy cuz I fuc*ing hated how I felt in a fog on them…o all I take now is edibles, and I don't even take those everyday. It's like once every three or four days until I can't really, I really can't stand the pain. I'll take one. I don't like. The medication side effect, I hate it. And if I could be off everything I would. So that's it in a nutshell.

So if you see my Jarl, you know, like in the room, I know he works so, so much, that's not gonna be an easy feat. But if you do see him go up, give him a giant big hug and you know, several pots of his black wine that he likes and spoil him because. But if it weren't for him, I don't know, you know, if I would be in good shape today like I am. And one thing I told him yesterday that that really hurts is everybody thinks I'm so strong and they're like I and I have everybody's back. You know everybody here at home that they come to me for their problems and I handle it very calm and but you know when it comes to me having a problem, there's really nobody here for me. You know, they you know. It's complicated to explain, to be honest. That's all I'm going to say. So when my rope snapped last yesterday. I, you know, I was crying. I was hysterical. And I'm talking to my amazing Owner and I'm like, you know, why is it that I have everybody else's back but nobody has mine?

So the reason why I'm sharing this with you guys is because I know you guys do have my back. Because love me or hate me. I am part of Scagnar and as I know very well we…do…not…walk…alone , and I'm sorry if I don't communicate well. When I'm having issues, I tend to withdraw and I know that's not the right thing to do. Umm, so I apologize. And umm, I hope to improve this in the future. Thank you for listening.

1. Sat Mar 16 18:30 * - Subject: * - 0 reaction(s)
   Lunn said:

   A couple of things.

   First, as was told me long ago, RT first. If you need to go quiet and tend to you, then do that and don't feel bad one second for doing that.

   Next, Mother says "Breath childe, your heart is ok, you can handle this, even if you think you can't. I love you childe, always have and you are not alone even when you think you are. I am here for you my beloved."

   Last. If you are on insulin, then it's time to fix your diet. No matter what the establishment says, look into a full on carnivore diet. It may not fix everything but it will help your blood sugar and inflammation and pain.

   Blessed be,
   Lunn/David

2. Fri Mar 15 19:24 * - Subject: * - 0 reaction(s)
   Kimba said:

   When you take one prescription, they know what it is going to do. When you take 2 or 3, they are pretty confident they know what will happen. But past that, you become an experiment. They don't test or do studies on multiple-drug combinations. On the other hand, for the last 40 years, multiple studies have shown that the single-factor that most correlates with good outcomes, is when the patient feels like they are in-charge of their medical care. In my opinion, you are moving in the right direction.